5th Treatment and Birthday

This last week has been a crazy one. I had family come into town, Avery completed her 5th treatment, and we had her 2nd birthday! Her 5th treatment went well and we got her tentative "plan" for the next month. Next week we will go in for an MRI or CT scan of her tumor to see how it is responding to treatment. If everything looks like it is responding well Avery will go into "maintenance mode" - which means she will go in for treatments every few weeks and her doses of medication will go down. So far Avery's face has seemed more and more symmetrical each week. I can't wait to see how her tumor is responding on the inside.

Then on Saturday I got up early for my first newborn session since Avery's diagnosis. Major panic attack since this was this first time I was leaving her! Right after we had Avery's mermaid party. I have been planning this party for MONTHS and I was so excited and happy with how it turned out.

Her mermaid cake - This was made by a family friend who does wedding cakes.

Food table - It had Hawaiian punch, cake, candy in jars, mermaid cookies, and fruit. 

My sweet girl in her mermaid outfit! She was so funny because I've had this outfit for months and she would never wear it. She'd always say "I don't like it!" But she wore it the day of her party! Of course, she took it off the second the party was over. :)

Sugar cookies from http://www.etsy.com/shop/SugarMeDesserterie

Avery practically BURIED in her presents. Luckily she had her cousin there to help open them all. 

- A lot of them were from out of state friends. Thank you SO MUCH! They made her so so happy.

Avery was so proud of herself for blowing out the candle. I love this picture of her and her daddy. :)

I'm still a bit in shock that she's already two! It seems like it has gone by soo quickly and that so much has happened since she came into this world. To think that I was only a teenager with no worries only a few years ago just boggles my mind. I can't believe how much Avery has changed me for the better in just 2 short years. It's crazy how much becoming a mother changes your perspective on life. Every choice I make I think of how it will affect Avery. Honestly, I've felt like for the past two years I've spent every waking second trying to protect Avery from the outside world. You can imagine how I felt when we were told that she had a tumor. I was so angry that this was something I couldn't protect her from. There were no preventative measures I could've taken, nothing I could've changed, and nothing I can do now but hope that she beats this. We have been so blessed with so much support and love and all we can do is be there for Avery and let God take the reigns.

Roller coaster

These past few days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. Yesterday we went in for Avery's fourth treatment. Things are progressing at an amazing speed and she has adjusted so well. I asked her in the morning if she wanted to go to the doctor and she just looked at me and said "uh huh". I'm so baffled that the hospital isn't a scary place for her. She walks in with such a good attitude, we go up in the train elevator and she names the paintings on the floor on the way to the oncology clinic. We wait in the room and she plays with her doll all the while people are poking her, checking her temperature, accessing her port, taking blood, more poking, giving her the chemo. And this is just normal to her. It's an answer to my prayers that she is used to it... but at the same time I hate it. I hate every second. She has barely lived and has already experience more then some people who are much older. I can't explain this to her or why she's different. I don't even know if she knows she is different. This has become her new normal.


I am absolutely elated that her tumor has gone down so much. I am so hopeful that this means she is getting better and that this won't be a forever thing. The steroids are the worst part because it made her so irritable. The chemo seemed to have no affect on her until yesterday when I had to take her pigtails out. I am always so careful taking out the elastics to not pull her hair and when I did take them out a lot more of her hair came with it. I don't think she will lose all of her hair... but she's losing her hair just the same. I'd gotten into such a routine and Avery was acting completely normal that I'd forgotten things weren't normal. Another bump in the road.


Yesterday at her appointment we got her "Colors of Courage" necklace. This a program where they give the patient a bead for each test, clinic visit, port access, and other things like that. Isn't it shocking that it has barely been a month?

This past month my sweet, sweet neighbors have been organizing an auction for us. They have gone around to all of the businesses in our area asking for donations and there have been many people who have donated also. This morning the auction was held and I was so touched by the amount of support people are still giving us. We are so so so grateful for any donations people give, but this was never about that for me. Just knowing that people are there to help and love and pray for us is more then I could ever ask for. I don't think that it's just luck that Avery is responding so well to medication and adjusting to this new routine. I feel like it's everyone who is praying for her. Seeing the community come together for our family was such a blessing. It's kind of restored my faith in humanity. :) I'm so grateful for all of the friends, family, and complete strangers that have been here and have offered to help. I've read every single text, facebook message, comment, note and appreciate them so much. 

Week Three

This week has been better. Things have finally started to settle down and we are getting into a routine. Avery has been taking her medicine a lot better and I'm getting better at dealing with the side effects. Avery's belly and cheeks have gotten so swollen and she is definitely gaining weight with all of the food she's been eating.

We went in for Avery's third treatment on Friday and she did so well. The oncologist is really pleased with what she can see on the outside. From what I can see, Avery's tumor has already shrunk about half way. She will go in for an MRI in three more weeks to see if her tumor is responding to the treatment on the inside. No matter the result, Avery will be treated for a year but I'm so hopeful that with her tumor shrinking that means she is responding to treatment really well.

I feel like she is such a miracle. All of the doctors that have seen her are amazed at the progress she has made so far. Before she started treatment they told me that it would take several weeks before her tumor would even start to show signs of shrinking. Within days of her first treatment her tumor started to feel softer. I didn't say anything because I felt like I was being crazy! Not only has she responded so well, but she is adjusting so much better then I could have ever hoped. I feel like our prayers have been answered in the way of her being so calm during her treatments and still being my sweet, sweet little girl. She is so smiley, energetic, sweet, and snuggly. I'm so so grateful that she has adjusted so well.

Watching Curious George :)

Eating apples and blue sixlets. Can you tell she loves chocolate? :)

More snuggling right before bed