Roller coaster

These past few days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. Yesterday we went in for Avery's fourth treatment. Things are progressing at an amazing speed and she has adjusted so well. I asked her in the morning if she wanted to go to the doctor and she just looked at me and said "uh huh". I'm so baffled that the hospital isn't a scary place for her. She walks in with such a good attitude, we go up in the train elevator and she names the paintings on the floor on the way to the oncology clinic. We wait in the room and she plays with her doll all the while people are poking her, checking her temperature, accessing her port, taking blood, more poking, giving her the chemo. And this is just normal to her. It's an answer to my prayers that she is used to it... but at the same time I hate it. I hate every second. She has barely lived and has already experience more then some people who are much older. I can't explain this to her or why she's different. I don't even know if she knows she is different. This has become her new normal.


I am absolutely elated that her tumor has gone down so much. I am so hopeful that this means she is getting better and that this won't be a forever thing. The steroids are the worst part because it made her so irritable. The chemo seemed to have no affect on her until yesterday when I had to take her pigtails out. I am always so careful taking out the elastics to not pull her hair and when I did take them out a lot more of her hair came with it. I don't think she will lose all of her hair... but she's losing her hair just the same. I'd gotten into such a routine and Avery was acting completely normal that I'd forgotten things weren't normal. Another bump in the road.


Yesterday at her appointment we got her "Colors of Courage" necklace. This a program where they give the patient a bead for each test, clinic visit, port access, and other things like that. Isn't it shocking that it has barely been a month?

This past month my sweet, sweet neighbors have been organizing an auction for us. They have gone around to all of the businesses in our area asking for donations and there have been many people who have donated also. This morning the auction was held and I was so touched by the amount of support people are still giving us. We are so so so grateful for any donations people give, but this was never about that for me. Just knowing that people are there to help and love and pray for us is more then I could ever ask for. I don't think that it's just luck that Avery is responding so well to medication and adjusting to this new routine. I feel like it's everyone who is praying for her. Seeing the community come together for our family was such a blessing. It's kind of restored my faith in humanity. :) I'm so grateful for all of the friends, family, and complete strangers that have been here and have offered to help. I've read every single text, facebook message, comment, note and appreciate them so much.